10 Things I Really Like About You

After publishing my previous post, using the unapologetic and somewhat tongue-in-cheek idea of calling out behavioral pet peeves started by Mother Shaffer, one of my readers told me the post scared her. This wasn’t my intent, so I decided to reframe the main points in a more positive way.

10 Things I Really Like About You

1. You have integrity. I know your values because they’re apparent in all you do. You live your values even when it is uncomfortable for you or means that you must change. You are slow to criticize and quick to support. You appreciate that people are complex, so you consider me in light of my overall character rather than out-of-context shortcomings. You base your evaluations on sensible and visible standards, not subjective preference. I can trust you because you are genuine.
2. You are inclusive. You recognize that I am very different than you are, and what goes on in my head and my life is unique to me. You view these differences as prompts to expand your own perspective. You seek to understand and engage. You know that what we can build together is stronger than what we can do alone.
3. You truly appreciate me. You never underestimate the value of what I do and evaluate me fairly based on our mutually understood requirements. Even though we may be at very different levels, you recognize that we are all connected and that my contribution to the overall outcome may be every bit as important—maybe more important—than yours, at times. You are quite comfortable giving me due credit—even all the credit, if warranted—because you know it’s a positive reflection on you to enlist and recognize resources that get the job done. You believe that sharing credit doesn’t diminish it, it expands it.
4. You are confident. You don’t need my acceptance to know and be happy with who you are. You expect my intentions to be good so you don’t seek reasons to take offense or read anything extra into what I say or do. You seek to earn my respect, but are A-OK with not being the center of my universe.
5. You have a clue. You understand that rewards should be earned. You expect no gifts and demand no sympathy. You do not shirk hard work or responsibility. You know that life isn’t fair. You work to create a better future, but operate within the current reality.
6. You cooperate. You are energized by achievement and collaboration. Competing only diverts your energy from pursuing your goals, so you don't engage in it. You’re happy when others honestly and deservedly succeed because it raises the bar of excellence and inspires you.
7. Your memory is good. You remember your promises, values, and what you’ve said to me even when the pressure's on. You remember that every decision has ripple effects that may affect others, so you make decisions based on data and reason rather than favors and convenience. You remember who embraces values and policies to contribute in positive ways when determining rewards. You remember that I will never forget.
8. You consider other points of view. You are open to alternatives that are well-reasoned and have quantified evidence. You consider no idea of your own to be infallible or the sole possibility. You encourage others to test their wings and support them throughout.
9. You assume the best. You don’t jump to conclusions. You always give people the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. You say and do only things that enhance relationships. You don’t attack, you positively engage.
10. You can write. When writing—when you can see the words and take the time to correct them —you always pay attention. You may not catch every misplaced comma or dangling participle, but you certainly commit no war crimes against language. You may even follow Grammar Girl.